Notes from a New Year’s Eve Curmudgeon
Cindy Battles
This post was contributed by Cindy Battles, a freelance writer based in Rutland, VT who’s been diagnosed with and managing bipolar disorder for many years.
I don’t go to New Year’s Eve parties. And thankfully, don’t get invited much anymore either (my friends know my m.o.). I can’t indulge in cocktails due to the medications I take for my illness, so big blow-outs at bars and rowdy parties are out. Then there’s always the pressure around that midnight kiss. Plus, it’s cold out there! So don’t get me wrong, usually, I love to be around people but there is something about typical New Year’s Eve traditions that just aren’t for me. So I’ve started my own.
Here’s the scene: I am gliding about the house in my red tartan Christmas robe, busily concocting elaborate confections (eventually, I will create the perfect Popover au Chocolat — stay tuned). The Christmas tree is up and red and white glowing candles transform the living room, a DVD is queued up and ready to go; this year it’s Something’s Got to Give with Diane Keaton (which I’ve already seen). It’s cozy, relaxing and wonderfully indulgent. Just how I like it.
Still, well-meaning friends, compelled to twist my arm stop by early in the evening to say hello and try one last heroic time to change my mind (optimists!): “How are you ever gonna meet Mr. Right if your home on New Year’s baking the perfect popover?” He can wait. Because tonight it’s about me.
Besdies, little do they know, that I love the arm-twisting drop-ins. It’s like having a party without spending anything more than the DVD and $5 for cooking ingredients plus (hot) apple cider. They ooh and aah over their airy popovers with real butter. And I have company without leaving the house on a winter’s night.
How sweet is that?
Here’s to the rest of you cozying up on the couch tonight!
Happy New Year,
Cindy
One Special Person
Cindy Battles
This post was contributed by Cindy Battles, a freelance writer based in Rutland, VT who’s been diagnosed with and managing bipolar disorder for many years.
I have a special friend named Edna. She is 92 and full of life. I try to stop by her nursing home room every three weeks. Today, I brought her a paisley fringed scarf for Christmas, and you would have thought I’d given her the world! She promptly put it on, said it smelled nice (?), kept rubbing the soft fabric against her face.
Edna is blind. I took care of her when I worked as a Licensed Nurse Assistant in her home years ago. She was losing her sight rapidly. We would make dinner and I would tell her where the milk was, where the potatoes were on her plate, etc. Anything to make things easier for her.
You know the funny thing about Edna is that she has really taught me so much. She always wants to hear about my life, where I’m working, about my family, if I’m down. “No crying” over being depressed, this 92-year-old says. Get out and help somebody. Make a contribution to the day (mine is tackling the mountain of dishes my brother leaves behind at night after dinner so my mother doesn’t have to do them).
Today I read parts of the newspaper and brought cookies I made for Edna and her pals. Soft, chewy cookies, naturally. Other times chocolate creams and more Big World Outside stories. How Edna loves stories. She herself is a raconteur. She has traveled the world and can tell me about Greece, Germany, Australia, anywhere, the more exotic the better. From memory.
I know there’ll come a day when I get a call that my dear friend has passed on. But for today, December 24, she made my day.
Edna is my Christmas blessing.
Who’s yours?
Cindy
Get REAL: Individual Development Accounts
Tobey Partch-Davies
Welcome to Real Economic Impact’s Get REAL (Reliable Experts, Answers & Lessons) series: reliable advice re: your economic concerns from leading money, legal, and financial experts from around the country.
This week’s Get REAL expert is Tobey Partch-Davies, Project Director, Poverty and Disability Research at the University of New Hampshire.
Q: Why is it important for individuals with disabilities, parents and family members, teachers, support coordinators, and rehabilitation counselors to know more about Individual Development Accounts?
A: A key focal point for transition-age youth and adults is securing gainful and satisfying employment. However, even when employed, many people with disabilities have difficulty paying for goods and services needed for actively participating in the community and for getting ahead. Individual Development Accounts (IDAs) can help.
Individual Development Accounts are temporary matched savings accounts for saving money for “assets,” including — but not limited to — move down first time home ownership, college, and small business development. For each dollar a qualified worker saves in an IDA, they are provided with “matching” dollars to support their savings goal.
There are two types of IDAs: 1) IDAs authorized by the Assets for Independence Act (AFIA) and 2) “private” (non-AFIA) IDAs. To qualify for an AFIA IDA, households must either earn at or below 200% of federal poverty guidelines, qualify for Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF) or qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC).
There are a variety of private IDAs available, some of which fund other types of savings goals, such as assistive technology, home repair, car ownership, etc. However, AFIA IDAs are the only kind of IDAs specifically excluded from means tests for Supplemental Security Income and Medicaid. Therefore, if you or your child qualifies for these benefits, make certain that the IDA you are applying for is an AFIA IDA.
Individuals who qualify for an IDA are also expected to take part in financial education workshops and asset training. Although the specific hours of education required vary by program, the purpose of the education is to help IDA account holders develop positive financial habits, including maintaining a budget, developing personal savings habits, building a positive credit history, and preserving the asset once obtained. Account holders saving toward home ownership take part in education unique to the home buying and maintenance process, whereas business savers take workshops that teach small business development strategies.
IDAs are an excellent savings strategy that can be used in combination with a wide variety of resources, including — but not limited to — individual services budgets, Vocational Rehabilitation services, Social Security and Medicaid Work Incentives, and tax credits. By leveraging these resources in combination, you will get closer to meeting your savings goal. If you are interested in accessing an IDA, be certain to communicate this to the people in your life that have a hand in coordinating access to services and supports. IDA programs are not always familiar with the way benefits from the Social Security Administration (SSA) and Medicaid work, and SSA and Medicaid benefit technicians are not always familiar with IDAs, so talk with a SSA Community Work Incentives Coordinator in your area so that you can plan the use of these resources effectively.
Our Get REAL blog series welcomes your questions. Simply e-mail us at GetREAL@RealEconomicImpact.org.
Let Go, ACT, Achieve
This post was contributed by Michael Roush, National Project Director for the National Disability Institute and “Chief Financial Officer” of his family.
Recently my sister-in-law, Laura, shared her experience of losing over 120lbs (awesome!) using Weight Watchers. Part of the process included letting go of the guilt of her past and the negative attachment she had with food; a negativity that was preventing her from celebrating the success she was achieving and as a result, maintaining.
Laura’s experience got me thinking about the guilt and negativity that sometimes follows past financial missteps; from accumulating credit card debt to not having enough in your Pay Yourself First account to the devastating experience of losing a home, it’s easy to let things get out of control. It’s even easier to continually beat yourself up about it. But how do you break the negativity cycle, like Laura did, in order to move forward?
In a recent post, Certified Professional Coach Christine Ng masterfully outlines three essential components necessary for kicking old habits and learning to let go of your past — financial or otherwise — in what she calls the ACT Method:
1. Acknowledge the past as an experience to enrich your life. In other words, celebrate the negative as a learning experience. $3600 Eye-Opener anyone?
2. Commit to change. Now that you know, it’s time to take action. Stay loyal to your goals — whether it’s losing 120lbs or keeping a daily spending diary. Stick to it. You can do it!
3. Time yourself. Set a date to achieve your goal. This will allow you to monitor each step towards success, no matter how big or small. And remember, change takes work and time. You want to succeed so give yourself a realistic timeframe in which to do so.
Lastly, no matter what your challenge, it’s important to have patience and compassion for yourself. Letting go can be hard! Whether it’s going over your Weight Watchers point allowance or splurging on a cappuccino, we all occasionally veer off the path towards our goals. But as both Laura and I discovered, by learning from past negative experiences, the commitment to change and achieving your goals becomes much easier.
Here’s to achieving yours in the new year!
Michael
Turn the Page
Cindy Battles
This post was contributed by Cindy Battles, a freelance writer based in Rutland, VT who’s been diagnosed with and managing bipolar disorder for many years.
Consider that sometimes the only thing between you and your dream is… you. Meaning, sometimes you have to get out of your own way.
Take me for example. You know how I like a good read. In particular, inspiring memoirs written by people with disabilities. Which got me thinking — got me dreaming — with one thought top of mind: I can, too.
Yet still, something in me was fighting it. I was dragging my feet, putting it off. Until eventually, I sent some family stories to my sister, who surreptitiously passed them along to a published friend. The friend then passed them along to her New York agent. The agent accepted my first bunch of stories — and asked for more! That one small action towards achieving my dream propelled it into a reality. All I had to do was… do it.
So if this is the year you’ve promised yourself you’ll get your life history on paper too, heck, even get it made into a movie by writing your own story, here are a few tips from that New York agent that I’ve found extremely useful:
1. Write at least a page a day. That way you’ll have 365 pages in a year and will be done.
2. Start in essays. A smaller format. This will make your endeavor easier.
3. Relive the details. Listen to the music, eat childhood foods, revisit old hangouts, quiz family members, study old photos.
4. Tell your truth. Don’t worry about offending someone until you’re finished and then make changes if necessary. And remember, your life story isn’t perfect — a good thing! It’s the pots in the road that make the reader turn the page.
5. Don’t forget to get out of your own way! You can do it, too.
For more tips and inspiration, check out How to Write A Memoir or Ten Great Memoirs to Read.
See you on the shelves!
Cindy
Spare Time
Cindy Battles
This post was contributed by Cindy Battles, a freelance writer based in Rutland, VT who’s been diagnosed with and managing bipolar disorder for many years.
Recently a family friend died. We sent flowers and food over to their house in the pouring rain. Last night we came home at 6 o’clock in the pitch dark from the wake.
All this reminds me that time is short and it really matters how we spend it. Today is Thanksgiving and I give thanks for a warm home to come to with people who love me and I love. But silent prayers sometimes aren’t enough. Action is called for.
I heard from the United Way this week about jobs I can volunteer for. I remember delivering hot lunches for Meals on Wheels and how it was one of the most satisfying things I had ever done. The elderly, some of whom wouldn’t see another person that day, thanked me for my smile. I left with an even bigger one.
Some ideas for you this season of giving thanks:
- Keep a Gratitude Journal and write three things a day in it.
- Make a list of those who have helped you the most and do something kind for them.
- Offer friends who have stuck by you a Coupon good for leaf raking, chores or babysitting.
You want to be generous and grateful this Thanksgiving, but if your finances are past limited and stretched to the breaking point, why not, if you are unable to budget money for donations, offer your time to give back? Do something to help others and find out how empowered and alive that makes you feel.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Get REAL: Financial Planning
- Mary Anne Ehlert
Welcome to Real Economic Impact’s Get REAL (Reliable Experts, Answers & Lessons) series: reliable advice re: your economic concerns from leading money, legal, and financial experts from around the country.
This week’s Get REAL expert is Mary Anne Ehlert, CFP®, President and Founder of Protected Tomorrows. Her sister, Marcia, was born with cerebral palsy.
Q: Why is it important for individuals with disabilities, parents and family members, teachers, support coordinators, and rehabilitation counselors to know more about financial planning?
A: Every individual needs to have financial security in order to allow him/her to have a safe and fulfilling life. An individual with a disability has more to think about when developing their financial plan.
Financial planning starts with understanding cash flow needs. What are the expenses to support the required lifestyle? What are the additional needs to provide support to the person with the disability, such as transportation needs, accessibility supports, living arrangements, additional education, recreational programs, and any other supported living arrangements?
Understanding income needs, as well as limitations on income, is critical to meeting the expenses. And even more important is the need to understand how needs will change in the future. Not only do expenses change over time but government benefits change as well. Understanding how these all fit together is critical.
Tying this planning together with government benefit applications, special needs trusts created and funded by other family members, and the proper use of income from each source is an integral part of planning. Add on top of this the need to have knowledge of tax rates on trusts, utilization of the earned income credit, and effective asset management within the trusts.
If a person with a disability is employed, it’s also important to understand the corporate benefits and how they will impact the overall financial plan, as well as government benefits. Understanding health insurance, Medicaid and Medicare, disability insurance, life insurance, and other corporate programs that might be available to a person who is able to work is very important as well.
Moreover, working with the entire family ensures that all family members understand the need to implement proper estate planning. Very often, a person with a disability cannot totally support their living needs. The entire family needs to be educated and work together to prepare a total family plan.
Our Get REAL blog series welcomes your questions. Simply e-mail us at GetREAL@RealEconomicImpact.org.
Four-Legged Finance
Cosmo, 14lb Silkypoo Mix
This post was contributed by Michael Roush, National Project Director for the National Disability Institute and “Chief Financial Officer” of his family.
Like most pet lovers, my dog Cosmo is an important part of my family. If anything ever happened to him, I’d be devastated. Earlier this summer, I feared the worst: he had to be rushed to the pet emergency room in the middle of the night — it was three days before the vets had a diagnosis.
Getting Cosmo the best care went without question. Although, admittedly, I found myself worrying about cost. The bill was staggering.
Thankfully, my Pay Yourself First account came to the rescue. If you haven’t heard of Pay Yourself First, it’s when you set money aside into a saving account that that allows you to maximize your earned interest and to grow your savings faster. Think of it as Financial Education Rule #1 in your “own economy.”
For many of us, dogs are more than our beloved pets. Service dogs, for example, are quite literally a way of life. What would you do if your pet or service animal needed serious medical care? And you were unable to save over $2000 due to resource limits attached to SSI and/or Medicaid?
A few suggestions:
1. Consider starting your own Pay Yourself First account. Not only is it practical but also empowering to know that you’ll have it covered when times are rough (ruff!).
2. It can’t hurt to ask. Does your vet have a payment plan available?
3. Think IRS. Is your pet or service animal tax deductible?
4. Google it. When I did, I discovered Guide Dogs for the Blind and their Financial Assistance Program (VFA) as well as a multitude of tips for pet owners in general from the New York Times.
Today, Cosmo is back to his old self. But I was lucky. Not only because he recovered but also because I had the Pay Yourself First account to assure quality care.
Michael
Love at First Watch
This post was contributed by Cindy Battles, a freelance writer based in Rutland, VT who’s been diagnosed with and managing bipolar disorder for many years.
Meet Ablevision, the national, award-winning program created and produced entirely by people with disabilities:
In the above episode, Special Correspondent Christine Murdocca interviews actor and comedian Kevin James, effortlessly wielding the skill and contagious confidence you’d expect from Oprah. Disabilities be damned, these folks are highly-abled, first-class professionals. Their Ablevision mission? To achieve greater dignity, independence and economic self-sufficiency. The American Dream in a nutshell.
Watching, I was reminded of my own “ability meets vision” experiences of self-reliance and achievement. And how, often times, those of us with disabilities might struggle with the assumption — even the expectation — that because we’re different, we can’t. Ablevision unequivocally demonstrates that in fact, we can.
Talk about must-watch TV!
Cindy
He Lived, I Learned
Cindy's Father, The Hon. Henry J. Battles
This post was contributed by Cindy Battles, a freelance writer based in Rutland, VT who’s been diagnosed with and managing bipolar disorder for many years.
Generosity. Patience. Compassion. This was my father’s credo.
When I was hospitalized in the past, he took time out of his busy schedule to drive the hour and a half each way just to walk the hospital halls with me. Then there were those frantic, anxious calls in the middle of the night… he always answered, willing to keep me company on the line, gently suggesting ways to calm down and fall asleep. And when no one else would hire me, he gave me a job in his law office — he gave me a chance.
In the words of Clarence Budington Kelland, my father “didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
On the toughest days (we’ve all had them), while curled up on my parents’ couch and crying, my father’s credo would come in the form of a question: “Did you help someone today?” he’d ask. Such a simple thing to request, it seemed. All I had to do was get up and wash a few dishes or do the laundry. An achievement for the day; by helping others, I helped myself.
As recipient of my father’s kindnesses, I can proudly say that his credo has become mine. Bringing chicken soup to a sick friend, for example, can be more meaningful to their day than any of us might ever imagine.
But perhaps more importantly, I’ve learned to apply generosity, patience, and compassion to myself; to not only dream a different dream but to also acknowledge even the smallest successes. “This is how we get through the day,” my father would say. Step-by-step, one small dream achieved after another. All in a day’s work. And, a legacy I’ve found to be the fastest road back to working, laughing, and like my father, livin’ large.
So. Did you help someone today?
Cindy
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